Preparations

I feel like my life has moved into a new stage.  I am preparing for many things...surgery, going back to school, house guest, finding a literary agent, vision quest, holidays, travel. I am sure there are other things as well that I have forgotten about.  I enjoy preparation and planning.  I am good at organizing.  It is just when I have lots of things happening I have to stay focused and not get overwhelmed.  It helps for me to make lists and keep track of what I have accomplished.  It also helps for me to set a timer when I feel like a job is too big.  It works best for things like cleaning or packing/unpacking.  When it looks overwhelming, if I set the timer for one hour then I can focus on that project for a limited time and not feel like I am getting behind with other things.  It also helps me to know I will have time later to do other things.  I have to make time for the fun stuff too.  Blessings.

Moved!!!

Well, we finally got moved.  Still need some furniture but that will unfold as time passes.  It is so nice to have our own space again.  I am grateful we had the opportunity we did.  It brought us south and has provided some fabulous new acquaintances.  It is a long drive north to see old friends but I enjoy driving so it is not too bad.  Just the cost of gas that is bothersome.  Well, time to get back to writing then and get published.  Then the cost of gas won't be so bothersome.  In the meantime, more boxes to unpack, so...back to work.  Blessings.

Just moving forward

The best laid plans often get rearranged.  Things sure feel like they have been topsy turvy lately.  I just keep trying to do the next right thing and stay busy.  It feels like there are lots of open doors in front of me but they are all open just a crack.  It feels like I have to choose without knowing what the complete view is.  Doing my best to wait and see what is revealed while doing the next thing that I know needs to happen.  Blessings to you and to me.  Thanks.

October

I am so glad that October is here, finally.  It has been a long summer and though it is not much cooler where I am, still, there is a change in the air.  I am excited for the autumn.  Hopefully we will be moving in the near future so I have been sorting clothes and knickknacks.  Lots of stuff to donate or give away.  It feels good to be paring down even farther than we did when we moved last time.  It is good to be simplifying again.  Blessings.

Emotions

Today and yesterday have been very emotional.  It has been hard to feel like a lot of what is happening is an up hill battle. I can usually maintain a pretty up beat outlook and I know that we have been blessed with much.  I just have had a hard time holding that perspective the last couple days.  Then this morning I had a really weird dream and woke up cold so it didn't start very well.  Well, here is to hoping that tonight is restful and peaceful and that morning brings a renewed sense of gratitude for being able to wear a pair of shoes again.  Maybe tomorrow will also bring an answer to the question, "Where are we moving to?"  Well, here's to continuing the growth process.  Blessings!

Packing

Well, I packed two boxes today and put together another bag of stuff to give away.  Sometimes it is really hard to do this.  Sometimes it is almost easy.  I have been thinking some about the differences.  When I am feeling good and feeling blessed, then packing or giving away stuff comes fairly easy.  When I am feeling aggravated or depressed, it is all very hard to do.  I think if I can find some inspiration, like a good simplify your life article or a how to get organized quickly thing then that would be good.  I have a great book on simplify your life.  It is packed in a box that still hasn't been unpacked from our last move in January.  Maybe this time I will get all the boxes emptied and sorted.  Well, I will worry about that when we get to the next place.  Blessings.

Here we go again!

Oi-vay!  Moving.  Yet another opportunity to go through the stuff and pare down.  Definitely getting better at giving away stuff.  So tired of moving boxes that we don't even get to open because we don't have enough space.  Would really like to live somewhere with a huge workroom that we could finally sort everything out and line up what we have and get rid of the duplicates, extras, things we never use...  It is hard to keep sorting a box at a time on top of other boxes or the bed you need to clear off to sleep in.  Well, maybe someday.  When the books get published then I'll start with the big kitchen for Chef and then the big craft/sew/write room for us.  Actually, a couple of yurts and a good fire pit would work for now.  First things first...have to find a place.  Have our eyes on a great little apartment.  Hope they call next week and say they'll have one available for us in November.  Oi-vay!  Blessings to all.  Send some back, we can use them.

Sunshine

Yesterday was dry for most of the day.  Just a few sprinkles late in the evening.  Had time for lots of things to dry out.  Looks pretty good for today too.  Had an interesting conversation yesterday that basically boiled down to accepting people where they are.  And then choosing how you are going to interact with them or even if you are.  I have several situations currently where I am having to choose how to interact with a few people. 

One I have to interact with but I am choosing to just be cordial and choosing not to stir things up.  Anything I say will not be accepted with respect or even seen as possibly valuable so I shall not waste any of my breath of life trying to convince them of something they have no intention of hearing from me.  This has become obvious when something I suggested several months ago that was shot down has now been readily accepted because it came from another source.  I am glad they have finally chosen to do something that might make their life a little easier.  I am also glad to know exactly where I rank in terms of their perception of value.  I am also very glad that my value is not based on what they think of me.

Another individual has chosen not to interact with me, at least not directly at this time.  This is great because it gives me time to determine how I will choose to interact with them when the time comes, which it will eventually.  This one at first appears that it will be tougher but what I am realizing as I type this is they are exactly the same.  I can choose to be cordial and not stir things up.  I can also choose not to extend myself in that direction just to provide an opportunity to be disrespected again.  The only difference will be choosing to step up when they choose to disrespect one of my elders.  My task now is learning how to do that with grace and beauty.  It is learning to draw exactly where my boundaries are and then standing up for them. 
Blessings.

Thunders with the rain

This is our third day of rain and the thunders have come with it today.  The ground is as saturated as can be and the grass is close to 7 inches high.  We have caught back up but now need a few days to let waters receed and to dry out a bit.  Even the mail in the box got wet from the humidity and the rain.  It also makes getting around in a walking boot a little tough.  Puddles and mud are not friends when you can run and jump in them. 

Well, it seems to have settled down for the moment.  At least the rain is coming straight down.  James would say it's a fine Scottish day, rain coming down straight, sun peaking through in places and not even cold.  Guess that makes it a fine day for some Mulligan Stew. 

Hope it is a blessing, whether it is wet or dry, wherever you are.

Rainy day

It has rained for the last four hours.  It started as a light sprinkle and very quickly became a heavy downpour.  The downpour lasted for a short while and then faded back to a quiet drizzle again.  It built to a heavy rain for short moments but has mostly been a steady light rain.  It has made me think about the ebb and flow of lots of things, including writing.  It also has me thinking about characters and how they develop.  Usually beings have growth spurts and leveling off periods.  Some, like yours truly, occasionally have stubborn periods where we insist on doing things the hard way, or the hard headed way.  Very few, in fact none that I have met arrive fully developed and have no learning or growing to do.  So, now I need to read my own words and go apply it to my characters.  They developed nicely through the first book but need to continue in the next.  Blessings.

Long time gone

Sorry I have been away for a bit. Doing a lot of other writing. Working on a series of books. Trying to figure out the process for finding the correct agent. Think I may have stumbled on to the right one for me. We'll see. Now doing research on how to send a query or pitch letter.

Hope you are well.
Many blessings.

Getting back to

It is always interesting when I have been away from the keyboard to get back to it. I have been here for the last few weeks, I just hurt my hand. Three weeks of typing one handed is enough to throw you off when you finally get back to two. There always seems to be a blessing that comes out of all my experiences though. This one made me very grateful for how fast (ha ha) I am typing with two hands. I hope you never have to experience that frustration but if you do you will certainly understand the thrill of speed when you get both hands back. Now, if I could just get rid of this boot on my foot so I could have both feet working well again. Ah, all things in time, right. Anyway, glad to be back and typing a little faster. Many blessings to you.

Slowly as well as Quietly

Nothing like a full work schedule, a book to write and a broken hand to slow you down. Typing one handed is not any fun and is very slow. It is a nice shade of bruise. The swelling is down and not much pain, just inconvenience. Well, I guess I'll write the old fashioned way, pen and paper. It won't be too bad, I do have a talk and type that I can dictate to later. Many blessings.

read the instructions

Sometimes I forget to follow the instructions. I am pretty good at it usually. I had one to many Psychology class that gave a test at some point that the paragraph of instructions basically came down to turn this test over and write your name on the back and you get an A+. Then I worked for a company giving weekly quizzes to a group of people who were supposed to be detail oriented but didn't read instructions on almost anything. When I tried to give a similar test, those above me said that was micromanaging and we didn't do that but then I had to have all future quizzes approved. Isn't that micromanaging? Anyway, I just had to redo something three times to get all the information that was needed and asked for in the instructions and I wrote the instructions down. I got side tracked by the mini drama that someone else was creating and allowed my focus to be drawn to that instead of what I needed to be doing. I think it is time for a break. Maybe I'll take an early lunch and read something totally off subject just to give my mind a break. No more beating myself up for being human. All is well now. Thanks for listening. Many blessing.

Sharing

I have spent some time watching a couple of dogs play over the last few weeks. One is quite small, a chihuahua and dachshund mix named Mick. The other is an eight month old Labrador retriever named Spirit. Spirit will lay on the ground and let Mick pin her then push him off and chase her around the house a few times. Then they'll come back and Mick will get under anything low so Spirit can't get to him and the next thing you know Mick is chasing her around the house. I often see them carrying the same large stick from the wood pile back to their favorite spot in the shade. They even share the same food and water bowls. I think we could take some lessons from these two. They look very different and are hugely different in size and yet they not only get along, they manage to have lots of fun at the same time. I think maybe I will join them, go roll in the grass or help them play fetch, besides I throw better than they do.

Searching

I feel like I spend a lot of my life searching. Searching for the right product to do the right thing, searching for an address on a street where they only post them occasionally, searching for my keys when I forgot to put them on the hook where they belong, searching for my glasses when they are on top of my head. I'm sure you have done the same search things occasionally. I just realized today, while searching for yet another thing, how easily we get frustrated during the search but then how gratifying it is when the search is over, finally! The frustration only hangs around when I feel the search was needed because I was unobservant (glasses on head). Otherwise, it is as if a tiny celebration is allowed and the relief is grand. I think it is that way too for my inside searches, you know the biggies like who am I and why am I? I want to choose today to just know that I am and to have a little celebration just for that. Maybe, if I do that every day, then the frustrations in searching will get smaller and the parties will get bigger and maybe, just maybe my keys will be where they are supposed to be.

anger

There are times in my life when anger served me well, when it pushed me to move or froze me in my tracks. There are moments too though that it kept me from beauty and peace. I have learned to recognize anger when it comes and find its purpose then release it. Holding on to the old emotion just seems to bring pain. I have no need or desire for any more pain in my life. I have grown through much and I am certain as a breathing living being on this planet I will continue to grow through even more but I hope that growth comes without too much fight and as little anger as possible. I much prefer the beauty and the peace and the love. Many blessings of those last three to you and yours.

Remembering

I find myself resonating with memories that don't belong to this present lifetime. And then I have an experience that my mother told me. She said when I was little I used to wander around the front yard like I was lost. She said she did not know what to do for me. Why, as a small child probably under the age of five, would I appear lost unless I had been someplace else, unless some where or time was more familiar? Is that why reading and writing about things connected to other times and places fascinates me? I am sorry to be rambling so today. Things like this have been on my mind recently and the easiest way for me to focus them better is to write about them. Maybe my brain will focus better later. Have a peaceful and blessed day.

Learning love

Why is it that the ones closest to us are also the ones who cause us the most pain? We let them in and love them and then in a moment of anger or prejudice everything changes. How is it that we don't allow those we love the most to be human? I have been very blessed to have a blood family and a spiritual family who both know how to step beyond human faults and frailties. The worst pain in my life was when I made decisions that hurt one I care about. He helped both of us step beyond that pain. How he did that, I am still trying to find the words. Love that is so strong and bold yet so humble and tender. I hope to love like that. I hope to carry that lesson with me all my days and always choose to love like that. Thank you uncle. I look forward to the lessons to come but for now I reside happily in the love you have taught and shown. Many blessing.

Welcome

I am not sure what all will unfold on this blog. My life seems to be going in many directions at the moment. I thought that quietly posting some of my thoughts might help to process the blessings in my life. Especially the ones that don't look like blessings at the moment. If you happen across this page I hope that nothing I say offends you. I ask the forgiveness of the ancestors and my elders if any information I share or story I tell is incomplete or incorrect. I am still learning and it is not my intention to do harm. It is my intention to simply share a bit of myself and offer that bit up so that it might be of use to others. Growing in understanding is not always easy but I have learned if I share that growing then the struggle attached to it usually becomes lighter. So for now I say welcome. I will not to spend my first few days catching you up on the history of my life. What I have lived through and experienced has brought me to today. If you meet me here then perhaps we can travel together and get to know one another.