Life's twists and turns

My updates have been few and far between recently. I hope to get more consistent now that I have a semblance of an office again. The day I had foot surgery, October 5th, we also got the news that we got an apartment. I'm grateful to have our own place again, but moving is enough of a chore when everyone is healthy. Trying to do it with a recent transplant patient and a person on crutches doesn't allow for it to happen very quickly. Factor in to that, more rain, an infection (me, not the transplant patient), and then the holiday season. Well, I'm certain you have guessed how slow it has gone, and we're still not finished.
On a positive note, the transplant patient, James, is doing really well. He has even begun working on some craft projects again, something he hasn't done in more than two years. He's already made a small leather coin pouch for himself and is working on a new fleece pullover. The other patient, the one one typing this, who had foot surgery and an infection, is doing relatively well also. The foot has healed up and I had my first visit to physical therapy yesterday. It went smoother and less painful than I had thought it would. I still have a ways to go, but the pain is so much better than it was before surgery. It's hard to explain how grateful I am not to be taking daily pain medicine just to be able to walk around.
Our holidays will be quiet this year. We're staying home, no trip north to visit family. Traveling during flu and cold season with a new transplant recipient isn't a good idea. As much as we would love to spend time with our families, it isn't worth the risk. Our current plan is to celebrate Christmas with the family sometime this coming spring. In the meantime, we have good friends who have opened their homes to us for small celebrations across the next few weeks. We're looking forward to quiet yet healthy visits and several great meals.
I hope that no matter what holidays you celebrate or who you are lucky enough to celebrate them with that they are blessed and joyful. And that the New Year arrives with hope and peace.
Blessings.

Post Surgery Weariness

James had his surgery on July 20th. After one week, he was released from the hospital. Since then it has been a slow but relatively steady road of recovery, though there have been several days of two steps forward one step back. All in all he is making steady progress and the kidney from his brother is functioning well. I on the other hand have been on a steady decline it seems.
I think the best way to phrase it is weary. It isn't anything monstrous or catching, it is just a steady tiredness that leaves me feeling like I still have too much to do but no energy to accomplish it. I realized today that I've basically been holding my breath, metaphorically, for the last few months. Now I'm teaching myself to breath again. To take full breaths and do a bit of activity to get going again.
Getting back to this blog is part of that. I'm not sure how often I'll be here but I want to check in regularly. I'm also getting back to my books. I have a young critic with a red pen waiting for the final changes I am making so he can be a grammar hound. I'm excited to get his feedback so I need to get my changes finished so he can get started.
Till then, blessings.

SIXTY

If we have been pleased with life, we should not be displeased with death, since it comes from the hand of the same master. Michelangelo

I have been thinking about this lately. Having several family members with major medical problems, it tends to cross my mind. I’m really grateful to have a few friends who are professionals in dealing and talking about this. They have helped me to face it head on, not hide from it or be afraid of it. It helps me to think of death in terms of my own death. I know it’s coming eventually. None of us get out of here alive. For me, I see death as the next transition. I have been pleased with life. It’s been amazing. Even the crappy days have been full of life. How could I possibly be displeased with the next step. I miss some who have already gone on without me. I hope there may be those who will miss me when it’s my time to go. But more than that, I hope I taught them to enjoy being here, to enjoy life. It was so worth it.

FIFTY-NINE

In the absence of any other proof, the thumb alone would convince me of God's existence. Isaac Newton

I always enjoy reading about a scientist who believes in God. I love the idea that some of the smartest people on the planet admit that things are just a bit too orderly to be coincidence. I also like it when my friends remind me that a coincidence is just God’s way of remaining anonymous. What I really like about this quote is that it reminds me to look around and notice proof of God’s existence, in whatever form that takes. Earlier it was a good friend stopping by to say hello. Then it was a little one excited to be out in the rain, stomping in puddles.  Maybe next it will be the quiet, or the birds singing in the park, or just a moment to lean against someone I love.

FIFTY-EIGHT

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' Eleanor Roosevelt

I find this to be true. The best examples of this in my life are my friends who are veterans. Most of them have lived through some forms of hell I don’t even want to know about. All of them use it to say, “I made it through that, I can get through this.” For me, I look at what we went through trying to save James’ foot, trying to get ahead of the infection. We battled for two years. Eventually, James chose amputation and getting on with his life. When the doctor said, “Your kidneys are failing,” I thought, “Okay, we made it through that, we’ll get through this.” And we are. But we aren’t doing it alone. We’re doing it with the help of many friends and family. We’re doing it with the help of many who have lived through their own horrors and know that the best way to get through it is with the help of others.  

FIFTY-SEVEN

Well done is better than well said. Benjamin Franklin

I’m certain you know a few people who can, “talk a good game.” I much prefer people who can walk it. This reminds me of the saying, “Put your money where your mouth is” but it’s more than that. This is putting your hands and feet where your mouth is. Don’t just talk about the fact that the park needs cleaning up, get a garbage bag and go help. I can talk all day about wanting to help or support someone or something. When I actually do something about helping, then people look at me and think, “She really means it.” Another friend of mine used to say, “Your actions speak so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.” She meant this in reference to a woman who kept “talking” about behaving like a lady, yet she insisted on dressing and acting otherwise. We turned it around. You can say whatever you want about me, but the people who know me, who have seen my actions, they will never believe those lies. My well done will always speak louder than anyone’s well said.

FIFTY-SIX

How often I found where I should be going only by setting out for somewhere else. R. Buckminster Fuller

I once heard someone, a sailor I’m sure, say that it was much easier to turn a ship around at sea than in dry dock. It’s also true about almost anything, it’s easier to change the direction of something that is moving than to get something started moving. That sounds a little like a Newtonian law but I’ll save physics for another time. I know for me, if I am doing something, if I have a goal I am working towards, I am usually open to possible new directions and influences. Many times I have thought I was to be doing one thing and it turned out to be something altogether different. I recently started a meeting. I figured a few of us, six or so, would get together and talk about a book. The first meeting was eight of us. The second was sixteen. Obviously, there were bigger plans. I’m getting better at letting go of outcomes.