What number was I on?

So, as life often does, it got in the way. My plans did exactly what my husband always says they do, made God laugh. As I finally get back to writing this, the first update on blogs that I follow was Victoria Strauss explaining what her hiatus was about from her Writer Beware blog. She was sharing about her mother's passing and the combination of emotions that exist with it.
We all have things happen in our lives. Some of those are celebrations and some are disappointments. Many of them are combinations or pieces in between.
The last two weeks have felt like a roller-coaster of  emotion. The events, for the most part have been great, wonderful even, like my friend's successful back surgery and my brother's wedding, not to mention the fun with the extended family and celebrating the birthdays of the oldest (my mom) and youngest (my niece) members of that family. The thing is, it feels like there is this shadow lurking in the background. It is the shadow of possible/probably events to come. If I try to focus on these, they disorient me. If I focus there too long, they take over and further distort my view of the blessings in the actual things around me.
I hope to focus more on what is actually happening, now. Not getting caught up in the what may comes. I know, I have to be realistic. I have to plan for possible outcomes. But I can make those plans and then set them aside and enjoy the path right in front of me. Enjoy the right now. As a dear friend reminded me this morning, the right now is actually all I have. No matter how hard I try, I can't go back, not even five minutes. I also can't go be in a future minute, not even for a second, not until it becomes now.